Even though I’m trying hard to ignore the calendar, the holiday season is nearly here. Between stirring up batches of homemade mincemeat (yes, I really do) and preparing a guest list, my mind has turned to the collision of generational habits around the dinner table.

While I was taught to politely remove my shoes at the door and never arrive empty-handed — how much does this old–school etiquette stand up today? You might get away with bending the rules around close family, but how should you behave when under the roof of a less familiar host?

Luckily, you don’t need to guess the right social etiquette when you’re attending a holiday party, because furniture company Joybird has done the groundwork for you. It surveyed over 2,800 U.S. adults to pinpoint what modern houseguest courtesy looks like, from non-negotiable house rules and off-limits conversations to outdated customs. Here’s a deep dive into what they found.

Forget about not taking your shoes off when you cross the threshold; the rudest etiquette mistake is snooping. It was the most hated behavior across generations, scoring 61% with nothing else coming close.

The rudest etiquette mistake is snooping. It was the most hated behavior across generations, scoring 61% with nothing else coming close.

As a home writer, it’s tough to stick to; I’m always desperate to peek at everyone’s home decor, but it’s one unwritten houseguest rule you shouldn’t break.

So next time you’re a guest, don’t snoop in private rooms. And don’t even think about peering into closets, drawers, and cabinets — they’re all strictly off-limits.

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