Being the only one in the room can turn hard work into a hiding place, and these strategies will help you lead from choice instead of survival.

For many leaders, isolation has little to do with being alone. You can sit in meetings all day, work on busy teams and have a full calendar and still be isolated. The isolation I mean is being the only one, or one of very few, in the room: the only woman at the leadership table, the only person of color in the meeting, the only one whose background and lived experience look nothing like everyone else’s. It means having no one nearby who shares your vantage point, no one to quietly ask, “Did that feel off to you too?”

That kind of isolation shows up quietly in the decisions leaders make every day. You volunteer for one more project because you want to prove your value. You spend an entire weekend preparing for a meeting that probably required half the time. You replay conversations in your head, wondering whether you should have spoken sooner, waited longer or chosen different words.

Over time, those decisions become habits. Eventually, the habits become your leadership style. I know because I lived it.

Early in my career, I worked in a finance division with more than 200 people. Only two of us were Black women. Every weekend, I prepared for Monday’s meetings as though I were studying for a final exam. I anticipated every question, rehearsed every answer and reviewed every detail.

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