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Car Park Capital Is The World’s Most Evil Simulator (Complimentary)

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Car Park Capital Is The World’s Most Evil Simulator (Complimentary)

There are simulators where you drive buses, farm corn, buy a zoo and manage fictional Twitch streamers. With the vibe coding epidemic, there’ll likely be even more in years to come. As expansive and particular as the genre has become, few really step up to the plate to exhaust themselves on the larger, societal consequences of your in-game side hustle. Car Park Capital, a new satirical parking lot simulator, asks how far you’re willing to go to build the world’s most successful parking space. And whether you’re willing to dismantle society to do it.

I’ve joked that the lockdown-era overexposure to social media seemingly split people into camps of new age medicine nationalists and folks who could differentiate the Haunted Mansion rides. I imagine the reason behind Robert Moses memes existing at all boils down to Defunctland, a popular YouTube channel that positioned the mid-century car-loving urban planner as the arch-enemy to amusement parks across America. This dynamic is at the forefront of Car Park Capital, a game that resembles RollerCoaster Tycoon and was picked up by the tycoon tycoons themselves, MicroProse.

The tutorial teases you with the gates of a bustling theme park, only to inform you that you’ll only be concerned with parking spots. You’ll learn to adjust prices, place appropriate yellow lines, build signage and, finally, sabotage public transit to boost business. Brushed up, it’s time to exercise this knowledge on a grander scale.


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