Occasionally, I’ll ask my cat Cheddar a question, particularly when he’s buried himself deep into the crevice between my neck and pillow while on the bed: “I love you, do you love me?” Cheddar will typically respond as only a cat can: either by remaining perfectly still—the sole sign of life his diesel-truck purring—or by ramming his head into mine, often making sure to rub his cheek all over my face, too.

For me, that’s more than a satisfactory response. Many people, including animal behavioral experts, say that headbutting (also called bunting) can be a sign of a cat showing trust and affection toward you. Bunting and cheek-rubbing also allows them to leave their scent on you, which can be used to communicate ownership or familiarity.

Cheddar has been a part of my life for almost a decade now. My friend found him abandoned and worm-ridden inside a carrier at a park in Queens, and I offered to take him to my local vet for a checkup. Over the course of the lengthy subway ride back to Brooklyn, his constant pitiful meowing melted my heart, and he would end the day at my apartment, which he’s called home ever since. He was only a few months old at the time and scared of anything he came across, myself very much included. These days, he’s still afraid of a lot of things, but not so much me. People familiar with cats might say that Cheddar chose me to be his person, and I have never regretted accepting the honor.

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