Happy this week, all! I regret to inform you that the videogame developers have been at it again. Sometimes, I find that the promising new releases distribute themselves evenly throughout the week, like butter perfectly spread over just the right amount of toast. And sometimes, as with this week's haul, they congregate weirdly on Thursday and Friday. It's as though they were trying to get away from me, like rats ambushed in the pantry, pawing frantically against the weekend's closed and bolted door. Haha! Hahahaaha! There is no escape, cheese-filching squeakmonsters! Down you go! Down you go into the Maw!

If you think characterising new videogames as a rodent infestation is unkind, I quite agree. Rats are sociable, adaptable, and admirable creatures who deserve better than to be compared to stupid videogames. In any case, I am only being macabre because this is the month of Halloween – hence the conspicuous abundance of horror in the list below.

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